What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
sarcasm needs its own font
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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