your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
