Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
