the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
