yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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