Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This baby is an asshole
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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