Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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