god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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