Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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