This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
