I wish my penis had an off switch
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
