Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
