Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize