Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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