Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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