Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
