U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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