Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
