I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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