just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize