My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize