problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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