There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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