loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
