I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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