I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
