Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
