I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
