New low: just hacked my moms facebook
vagina is talking i cant
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
