Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize