Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
