so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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