How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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