just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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