in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
