Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize