My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize