And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
