I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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