from now on my penis is your penis
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You ruined the universe
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
