I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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