my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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