Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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