No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
