K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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