Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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