What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
