i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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