Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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