I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
