I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
