Welp...herpes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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