East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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