I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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