Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
one might say we're banned from that church
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
